As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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