New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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