were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
