It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
