I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
