i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
