I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
