I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
