i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
