You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
