come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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