Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
