Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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