So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
