i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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