windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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