you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
