Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
