I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize