its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best friends brother. Beat that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
