if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize
