Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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