Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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