With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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