I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
