So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
