I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
