whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
