Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
