So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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