If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
