i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
