I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
