literally had 100 drinks last night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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