Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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