Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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