Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
