And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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