can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
