He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
