I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
