I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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