It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
