your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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