I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
