so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
