oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
