Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
