i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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