a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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