goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize