nut hugger
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
