She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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