I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
