A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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