Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
