im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
